What a Way to Get a Bouquet.....or Always Carry An Epipen

Sunday was my birthday. It wasn't the big one, but close enough. I had a lovely party with my family. I received a beautiful necklace from my special someone. And my frat boys left flowers at my door. Life was good.

Monday was not so good. I have had some serious allergies for many years. And I have had testing more than once. I've had an epipen for over 30 years. Not the same one, of course. They are only good for a year, and cost a few hundred dollars each time. I have never actually injected myself, but have practiced. I have, however, been to the ER several times over the past few years, and stay a few hours while they monitor me and give me iv's.  I am always very careful not to eat things that might be dangerous for me, but there is something out there. We can't yet figure out what it is, but it is trying to kill me. I can always tell immediately if I have eaten the wrong thing.

This time it was a little different. I was at the grocery store, and my eyes started to feel puffy. Usually it begins with itching in my ears and my mouth, so I just took a Benedryl and started to drive home. About ten minutes later I decided to keep on going to the ER, I thought I was making a good decision, but I have been lectured several times today by doctors and nurses that it should be epipen in one hand giving myself a shot, while I am calling for an ambulance with the phone in my other hand. 

I spent the past three days in the hospital, mostly in the ER, and Intensive Care. I was in severe anaphylactic shock, and was sedated, and on a ventilator for sixteen hours. I know it brought back some terrible memories for my kids. This was the way Jim died, almost exactly seven years ago. He was on life support, and we had to make the decision to let him go. I know they had to be thinking of that time while they watched and waited with me day and night.  I am sorry to put them through that again. I am looking pretty bruised and battered, and full of medicine, and a lot less blood than I had in my veins a few days ago. Lucky for me, they didn't have to pull that plug. 

And I got flowers:

 

I'm sure there must be easier ways! I want to say thank you to all the wonderful staff at Mercy Hospital. And to my children, even though they didn't recognize me and told the nurse that I wasn't their mother. To the people who did see me, I hope you forget. It was not pretty, but I am glad to be here and grateful for all the caring messages I received. And once again, Life is Good!

Jigsaw Puzzle Decorating

When I was about twelve, my dad gave me a box filled with lined cards and dividers. The cards were smaller than typical index cards and the box was about fifteen inches long, with a fitted lid. On the first card I wrote the title "Revelations of My Soul". I had borrowed those words from a vampire story I had recently read. I thought it was fitting. For the next several years, I filled those cards with thoughts, and quotes, and many, many revelations. When I moved away, I had a little ceremony, and burned the cards, along with all my teenage journals. It felt like a very grown-up thing to do. But, it never stopped me from collecting files. Over the years, I have had a variety of boxes, indexes, and furniture files. My first four drawer file was a Christmas gift, and I was thrilled with it. And I have always loved to write info on index cards. And drawers with labels are their own particular sort of heaven, I think. I am sure it seems disconcerting to a lot of people, but I am comforted by paper. Now that I live in my tiny space, you can see that there isn't a lot of room for furniture, but I employ my own kind of jigsaw puzzle decorating. I long for "white space", and fantasize about becoming a minimalist, but obviously, I don't want it enough to leave any gaps unfilled! If I can find a way to fit something in, I will do it. My granddaughter used to call our house the house of doors and drawers, because I had so many cupboards and drawers in it. I don't have a lot of cupboards and drawers anymore. I only kept my favorites. And I have found a way to fit them in to my space. My latest treasure is shown above. I fell in love with this metal file cupboard at a store nearly a hundred miles, away. And it took four trips to get it home! The first time I had to find a place that it would fit. The second trip, I went back to see it again, measured and purchased it. The third trip was a miscalculation. We found it was just a smidge too long to fit in my daughter's vehicle. And after the fourth, and final trip, it came to live with me. And it is perfect. It has thirty six pullout drawers, and holds file folders and magazines. All of them are labeled. I do love labels.
The picture below is a cupboard I have had for many years. It is oak with sliding doors below, and seventeen drawers above. All labeled, of course. It also has two pull out "bread board shelves", so I can use it as a desk. Some people may think that is a lot of file drawers for a tiny room, but I've never made a secret of the fact that I would live in a library if I could. For the first two years that I lived here, this favorite cupboard was in storage. And finally, I decided to move some of the more traditional furniture, and find a place for it. My rooms came furnished.  Very new and nice, but never to my taste. I've lived here now for three years, and keep adding my own things back in. I think of myself like Mary Kate in the movie, "The Quiet Man". Do you remember how she just wanted to have"her things about her"? John Wayne wasn't enough. She needed her antique furnishings too.
I know it looks very crowded, and my style of decorating these days is layered, labeled, and stacked. Sometimes, I think that everything I have is on top of something else. My rooms are actually taller than they are wide, so it seems that the only way to go is up.