Hello, Hello

 

Hello, Hello

 

The telephone was invented just one hundred and fifty years ago. Alexander Graham Bell was originally trying to find a way to make the telegraph system work better. 

How much have times changed? I remember watching "The Walton's" tv show, which was set in the 1930's. I think that only the general store in their little mountain town had a telephone. Other tv shows often had people listening in on party lines as part of the plot. Often, several families shared. When I was a child, I remember sharing a line with first two neighbors, and then with one other family. There was always a click if the neighbors picked up the phone and you would know if they were listening. Having only a two-party line seemed pretty impressive.  As a young teen, I had my own phone. It was a blue princess design. I also got my own private line. Not because we were wealthy, but because my dad had a lot of business calls when he was at home in the evenings. He really didn't like it when the phone lines were tied up when he was waiting on or wanting to make a call. My dad would have loved having a cell phone.

Phone calls were ten cents when you used a phone booth. Our moms always made sure that we had a dime in case we needed to call home. And that was really only for emergencies or if you were going to be late! Just imagine, we could be gone for hours with no one knowing where we were. Just as long as we were home by curfew! 

When I was a young mom, I had a wall phone in the kitchen with an extra long cord. I could do all sorts of things while I talked to my other mom friends. We all felt liberated. A few years later, I worked in a hospital as a telephone operator, patient information clerk, and for the doctors' answering service. After that experience, I hardly talked on the phone at all. 

The first cell phones became available in 1973 but weren't commercially released until 1983. They were at least 10 inches long,  weighed two and a half pounds and were about the size of a brick. After being charged for ten hours they only worked for half an hour. They improved radically over the next several years.

I really don't remember when I got my first cell phone. I know I resisted for several years. I didn't like the idea that someone could contact me at any moment of the night or day. When I did get my first phone, I didn't even give my number out. Now, just like nearly everyone else, I feel totally discombobulated if I forget my phone!

Phones today are used for so much more than just talking. Most people spend a lot more time texting. I'm not good at it. I still text in complete sentences that are grammatically correct. But I do love to get text messages and emails. Then I don't have to actually answer the phone. Am I the only one?

Doom Scrolling is now a thing. Why check your phone just to make sure that you get all of the bad news? I suppose this is also part of the fear of missing out. Do we really need to know everything?

 Today the average person checks their phone about 150 times a day. (When I checked this information, the number varied between 144 and 200!) This is an average. I know I am saying "Not Me", but many people do use their phones beyond that. I look around at restaurants and there is usually at least one person at each table using a phone. Sometimes all of them are, and there is no conversation at all. I see people in grocery stores verifying their entire orders with someone at home. Waiting in line means checking your phone. I have heard an unlimited number of very private conversations while out and about. For some reason, the talkers must think that we don't hear them.

Thirty-three states now have legislation against phone use while driving. It's been a long time, but this is a trend that needs to continue. Some parents are starting to re-think the idea of giving phones to very young children. Is it time to make more changes?

Sun In The Morning or The Moon at Night

 

Sun In The Morning or The Moon at Night

 

Are you a morning person or a night person? As much as I would like to be a morning lark, I am very much a night owl. I would love to wake up, have my coffee outdoors as the sun rises, and maybe do a little Yoga or Pilates as I start my day. But that is never going to happen. Instead, I set two alarms and stumble to the coffee pot and wrap up in a warm blanket. That's on the days that I have to leave the house to be somewhere. On the other days I don't have an established time to wake up anymore. I was born to be retired.

I've always loved to stay up late. As a child I would often read or write in my journal late at night. When I first moved away from home, I would leave my dorm room and spend time in the common area reading or listening to music as my room mates slept. When my own children were young, I would stay up late to listen to the silence and to work on projects that couldn't get done during the day. I admit that I spent some time dozing on the couch while my little ones watched Sesame Street.

When working a "regular job" I had all sorts of hours, ranging from punching a time clock and starting my workday at 5:30 a.m, to working a night shift that ended at 5 in the morning. As a fraternity house mom, I was always up and dressed by 8 a.m. even though I usually didn't even try to go to sleep until a couple of hours past midnight when the party goers came home.

Most of my life I have gone to bed with a book. I would read until I fell asleep and dropped it on the floor. That doesn't work as well with a Kindle. I don't do that anymore because John is a light sleeper and the light would certainly keep him awake. My first husband went to bed at 7:00 and got up at 3:30 a.m. He could sleep through anything except a quiet room. In fact, he listened to the radio every night until I turned it off when he went to work. 

I used to have the strangest dreams when our radio was on the BBC World news programs at night. And then, when I woke up, I often learned they were true. Dreams can last thirty to forty minutes. I can wake up and then go back to the same dream. When I was young, I would have recurring nightmares. That hasn't happened for a long time and I don't miss it.

I try every night to be in bed by midnight, but I seldom make it. If I go to bed too early, I'm not able to sleep. I fret and worry and try to solve the problems of the world or redecorate the house. If I wait until I am tired, then I can fall asleep in five minutes. I still love that quiet time when there isn't any noise in the house. I have heard of people who spend time "going through their thoughts" before sleeping. I suppose this is a kind of mental journaling. It would be a good time to decompress, consolidate, and make a space for closing the day. I may try it. It's probably much better than trying to fix unsolvable world problems.

The majority of adults need seven to nine hours of sleep. There are short sleepers--those who need six or fewer. Martha Stewart has said she only needs three or four hours of sleep a night. She also does Pilates four times a week. I just read her daily routine and now I need a nap. 

Fun Fact: Dolphins and some birds have unihemispheric sleep. That mean that half of their brain sleeps while the other half is awake.

The Second Story: Quiet Down Cobwebs

The Second Story: Quiet Down Cobwebs: According to the American Cleaning Institute, National Spring Cleaning Week will be here soon. Always beginning on the fourth Sunday of Marc...

The Kindness of Strangers

 

The Kindness of Strangers

 I notice a lot of things when watching British mystery tv. Of course everybody drinks a lot of tea. And when the detective interviews someone about a suspect or a victim over a cuppa, the person will almost always say, "I really don't know anything about it. He kept himself to himself." We don't hear that here in the United States, because most people love to talk, especially about themselves and their history. 

I don't usually think of myself as someone who is an oversharer. At least not in person. When it comes to writing, I am much more likely to spill the tea. Does anyone else wonder what that means? Well, I looked it up. I thought it was a new saying, but it has actually been a bit of American slang since the 1980's. It means to tell the truth about something scandalous, dramatic or juicy.

One thing I notice a lot is that people tend to think that no one overhears when they are talking on a cellphone. I am always surprised at the ones who will talk loudly on speakerphone when they are out shopping. Just the other day I felt like I was following a woman at Target because I could hear her conversation from several aisles away. She was telling a friend very intimate details about her divorce and custody hearing and talked the entire time she was in the store.

A few days later I was in the pharmacy, when a man looking at greeting cards shared family stories with a stranger who was also looking at cards. They weren't good stories, and I'm surprised he was actually buying cards for people he disliked so much. Not to be out done, she also had her share of horror stories. Once again, they were very loud, and I could easily hear them from several aisles away.

Now if you are starting to get the idea that I am just a creepy eavesdropper sort of person, I'm really not. Anyway, not most of the time. For the sake of clarity, I will admit that during the time when I was alone and lonely I used to deliberately listen to old married couples in restaurants. More than once I fought off the urge to go to their tables and tell them to be nicer to each other.

There are also people who want to share happy times. There is a cashier I see in another store who tells everyone the story of how his parents met. He enjoys it every time he repeats it, and I try to take the time to listen.

Sometimes it is easier to share things with strangers than with those we know. When I was going through sadness and misery, I remember more than one occasion when I cried with women who were there for me in the very worst moments, but I never saw them again. I will always think of them as my angels and remember the kindness they gave me when I desperately needed it.

It is a good thing to share connections and experiences with other people. Let's just try not to do it loudly and publicly.

A Fish Story

 

A Fish Story

 

Yesterday was John's birthday. He is 82. I don't know if he would want me to tell you that, but after all, this is my blog so I can say whatever I want. For his birthday we decided to get a fish. We have a picture here of Mr. Fish. This is the closest thing we have had for a pet since I have been part of this family.

We spent a lot of time discussing this and wondering if we were ready. Pet ownership, after all, is a big responsibility. I have never had a fish. Several years ago, John had a goldfish who was also named Mr. Fish. He lived several years. He seemed to have a real relationship with Mr. Fish, because there are family stories about how he would tickle Mr. Fish's belly. I guess they were very close.

We talked about the name for our new family member. John wanted Mr. Fish 2. I vetoed that because everyone should have their own name. I am Mrs. Brafford 2 but would really like to be called by my first name. I think our fish would feel the same. We decided on the name Rudolfo.

We also talked about where to put him. John wanted the coffee table. I didn't. My vote was the mantel or maybe the top of the desk. If there was going to be any belly tickling going on, I didn't want it in my direct line of vision.

So as you can see, we did not make this decision lightly. We googled and read reviews and picked a local store that sounded promising. When we got there, the building was open, but no one was there. When we went back to our car we noticed some activity next door, so we went inside. We discovered that the owner was in the middle of downsizing and wouldn't really have anything available for a few weeks. We were disappointed because we really wanted to buy local. We googled again and decided to try a big box pet store on the other side of town. This was like a pet supermarket. They had everything pet related we could think of. Everything, that is, except fishbowls!

Did you know that fishbowls are considered inhumane? I didn't. I thought that a fish would happily live in a fishbowl. Not true. Modern fish need fish tanks. And if they are goldfish then they need very big fish tanks. After hearing how terrible we were for wanting a goldfish bowl we decided to try again. The next store didn't have very good reviews but we thought we would give it a try. The reviews were right. The building was very old and dirty, but the owner was very knowledgeable about fish. Once again we heard how no one has a fishbowl anymore and that we really needed a big ugly tank. I was holding a small one that I thought might be a possibility when there was a sudden movement by our feet. I screamed and jumped as a mouse ran by, barely missing my shoe. The owner said, very nonchalantly, that he usually catches about four a day. I didn't drop the tank, which was a good thing. But by this time we decided we weren't ready to be fish parents yet.

We changed to his alternate birthday gift which was a sports jacket. We drove back across town to the big mall. We hadn't been there since John bought a suit for our wedding. He still gets online ads  from the store at least once a week. When we got there we couldn't find the store. Finally we learned that it closed a few years ago! So we tried another store and he found a perfect fit. Then we looked at the price tag, and it was over seven times our budget! That is why I never shop at the big mall!!!

One more time, across town again. He found the right jacket at the right price, and everyone was happy. We ended the day with a nice birthday dinner with family. The only problem there was a nice gift card for a movie theatre which no longer accepts them. There aren't any AMC theatres in our area anymore. Who knew? Obviously, not us.

I do hope this doesn't indicate how our year is going to be. At least my birthday is several months away.

EVERYWHERE IT'S CHRISTMAS

EVERYWHERE IT'S CHRISTMAS

Last week I shared some stories about my trees over the years. I probably sounded a little bit particular about what I did and didn't like. (Christmas balls!). I relented a little and bought a few vintage glass balls to add to the tree. I really couldn't find very many, and when I did, the prices were mostly more than I wanted to pay. I love old things, but I don't always understand why keeping them in an old falling apart original box makes them worth so much more money. So now we have some old bubble lights, breakable glass ornaments, and two funny little elves living in our tree. They wouldn't be my choice, but I guess it isn't just my Christmas. John's taste is a lot different than mine. I'm just glad he doesn't insist on ornaments with googly eyes. Actually, the little elves are pretty cute. I found them at Target and they were just the right size for the red ladder.

I'm really not sure what the story is about Target and some of the other stores this year. I was there earlier in the season and thought they were just putting merchandise out later than usual. But now it almost looks like they are finished and clearing it out. I don't know if a large amount has been sold or if it was never in stock.

I'm not one to talk to strangers in stores, but I was so discombobulated by the vast emptiness in the Christmas aisles that I started a conversation with another shopper. She was just as surprised as I was. I will probably be back in a few days and will check again. It seems too early to be clearing it all out. Maybe they just haven't gotten everything in yet. Could this be a result of the tariffs?  Are other stores like this too? I haven't done a lot of shopping this year. I've been ordering online. I have noticed that my packages are taking longer to get here, and that the arrival dates usually change at least once. We have cut our gift lists, and I am making some of the presents. Also, I am trying to shop more at the small independent businesses. 

Even though the big stores don't seem as festive as before, restaurants are going crazy with decorations. I went to lunch at a popular cafe this week, and they had put up even more than last week's pizza place. Every inch of the rooms was covered in sparkle! Dots of colored light fell from the ceiling to the floors, swirling around everywhere. Lights were dimmed to set off the colors. The ceiling and walls were covered and there were trees all over. Every table had a sign reminding customers not to stay more than an hour so that others could enjoy the views. For me, it was just too much.

                                                                               

                                 Pella, Iowa hosted its' annual tour of homes last weekend. Four beautiful houses were open to the public and they did have a large crowd. It is one of their big events every year. I really enjoy the clever ways that the owners decorate their homes. I guess I really am into quality over quantity. Or more likely, imagination over quantity. I don't like seeing bare shelves in stores, but I also feel that everything this year is either not enough or too much. I am feeling very Grinchy-Scroogy and wanting to simplify. HoHoHo.

  

  

EASE, ELEGANCE, and ECONOMY

 

EASE, ELEGANCE, and ECONOMY

 

I am a big fan of Jane Austen. Even more than her books, I like her letters. Even though she was born two hundred and fifty years ago, she said a lot in her novels of contemporary nineteenth century life that still make sense today.

She wrote a letter to her sister, Cassandra, in July of 1808 that contained this passage: "In the meantime for Elegance and Ease, and Luxury...I shall eat ice and drink French wine, and be above Vulgar Economy." Jane did like a good vacation.

Many years later I read these familiar words again in another book that I happened to find. This one was printed in  1971, and was one of my favorites when I was a young wife: 

It's out of print now but used copies can still be ordered through book stores. I liked it because it was funny, yet filled with charts and schedules. I remember she said that the only thing she really liked about housekeeping was arranging red roses in crystal vases. 

The words I remember most were her opinions on ease, elegance, and economy. Basically, she said that you can never have all three at the same time. You can always have two of them, but never all. And it changes. If you want to buy something, make something, entertain someone, or just do something wild and crazy for yourself, then one of these will have to be excluded.

It's possible to plan a party with ease and elegance, but not with economy, because you will have to spend more money. You can have an elegant, economical party, but it won't be easy, because you will be doing most of the work yourself. Or you can just throw something together and make it easy and economical, but you'll be missing all those fine touches that make it elegant!

I'm not sure why this has stuck with me for fifty years, but it applies to just about every situation. I'm not sure what happened to my copy of the book, but it is worth reading more than once. I remember making some pretty elaborate schedules when my kids were small. 

Another housekeeping book I liked was this one:

For quite a while I kept my whole life on index cards. The authors' motto was "We change lives with 3 x 5's. They were two sisters, Pam and Peggy, and were hilarious. They had a tv show for a while, and I always tried to watch it. They were even keynote speakers at a convention I went to, and let me be their assistant, because I wrote them a really schmaltzy fan letter. They wrote back to me. I probably still have it somewhere. I finally got rid of all their newsletters, and instantly regretted it.

Another homemaker author I enjoyed was Peg Bracken and her "I Hate to Cook" book and "I Hate to Housekeep" book. As people can probably tell, I am drawn to the funny and the ridiculous advice books, as long as they teach me something I want to learn.

And, then, of course there is Martha Stewart, who tried to make us think that we could have the Three E's, although I never feel that economy is involved. One year I wanted to use one of her Christmas ideas, but I realized that just the ribbon would cost my entire budget. And Martha isn't funny. Impressive, but not funny.

Today, I still enjoy all the housekeeping and decorating tips, but am becoming addicted to YouTube videos. Everyone I see has a perfect life. Recently, I've been watching several of the videos called "Wise Elders Insights." They are filled with good advice for our twilight years, but not with a lot of humor. They are narrated with a very soothing voice that makes me feel like I must have known Jane Austen personally.  (I might be a little touchy since I just had a birthday!) I'm still hunting for the perfect clean your house, organize your day, be clever, and enjoy your life and laugh whenever you can information. I know it must be out there.

 I am mostly an online shopper. I love the convenience, the almost instant availability, and especially being able to shop in the middle of the night. That can be a problem since we all know that no good decisions are ever made after midnight.                                                                                                       

When I was a teen, shopping with friends was a favorite activity. In fact we used to get dressed up to go shopping. I also liked to take the entire day to shop by myself. It didn't happen often, but I always looked forward to it. As a young mom, the grandparents would watch the little ones on Friday nights so I could go to the grocery store and mall by myself. Jim worked from 6am to11pm the first few years of our marriage, so I didn't get away by myself very often. Most of the time I had a gaggle of children with me. They were usually pretty well behaved. They do still shudder at any mention of  "The Pink House", which was a needlework store I loved to visit. They didn't. It was in an old victorian house and wasn't really very child friendly. 

Most of the places I shopped were pleasant. Many of the small boutique stores would have an area for children with color books and small toys.

I've always liked the little stores, junk stores, and antique shops. It's been a long time since I spent a whole day at "The Mall". In fact I still think of our largest retail mall as new, even though it's been here for over twenty years.

I did go shopping for a while yesterday. I don't last a whole day anymore. My local craft store (JoAnn's) has closed, and I have a really hard time finding what I want at the other stores. So it wasn't my most successful trip. And, of course, now it is Christmas in July. Nearly half of the places I went have tremendous displays of Halloween and Christmas items. I am not ready yet. But, by the time I am, I already know that the items I want will be sold out.

My main objective right now is to shop from the things I already have. I already know that I will never live long enough to actually use all the things I've already accumulated. But, why is it that I never have the one item that I need? 

Weekly on Wednesday

Happy July!

 July is my birthday month, and I am immature enough to celebrate it like a child. In fact, now I celebrate all month. I know a lot of people say that they don't even notice their birthdays or think the day isn't special, but I have always believed that it should be an exciting and whimsical day. After all, we only get one birthday a year.

I think that since it is the middle of the year, and the middle of summer, that should be enough of a reason for a party. When I was a teen, my friends all gave me a surprise party for at least two of my birthdays. One was a regular boy/girl party, and I think I found out about it ahead of time. I remember that someone (my boyfriend, I think) gave me a Barbra Streisand album. She was one of my favorite singers. The second party was early morning. I was staying at my friend's house, and everyone woke me up. I remember my orange pajamas, and bright blue scarf covering my pink sponge hair rollers. Everyone else was dressed. I was so happy that only girls were invited to that one. We had a delicious breakfast and presents. I still think that was a really clever way to have a surprise party.

Through the years there have been lots of family birthday dinners, and time with family. I have had a lot of birthdays.

Once we drove into the country to buy a load of antique bricks to make a patio at our first house. The truck broke down, and it was a hot and crabby day. And then we unexpectedly sold the house, and never even got to use the patio.

I've always tried to take the day off work for my birthday. Usually I've gone shopping by myself, or out to lunch with a friend. When I couldn't get the day off, I was probably whiny and miserable. One year, my work friends had a little party for me, and someone sent me flowers, so I actually got a lot of attention. They even decorated my desk.

One terrible summer, I had a birthday in the middle of radiation treatments, and the nurses brought me a cake. They had noticed the date on my chart, and surprised me with it. Cake always makes a bad day better.

Another time I attended an embroidery class with a nationally known teacher who had come to Iowa. That was an enjoyable day. I did refrain from telling a roomful of strangers that it was my birthday, even though I was singing Happy Birthday to Me on the inside.

 I like to celebrate from midnight to midnight. I have always believed the whole day should be memorable. Many times I've written in a journal, reflected on the past year, and made resolutions for the next one. I also try to do a tarot card reading.

One year everyone forgot my birthday. Everyone. That was the year I decided to celebrate by myself, and make sure every year was special.

My first year alone, I was going to buy myself a little present every day. That only lasted a few days because I spent my whole budget on an antique desk that I found and loved. It had to spend a few years in storage with most of my other furniture when I lived in the fraternity house, but I was thrilled to get it back again.

Birthday cards are another thing that I keep. That probably isn't a surprise to anyone. I really like the nice ones. I used to get a monkey card almost every year from my late husband. He knew to also get a pretty one too. I'm glad that John hasn't kept up the monkey tradition.

One tradition that I do every year is to make a New Moon List on the first New Moon after my birthday. It sounds very greedy, but the list has to be physical things that you hope to get in the next year. The first one I saved was in 1992! I put them in a sealed envelope and open it on my birthday. I did forget once and made the list on a full moon instead. I don't think any of my wishes came true that year. I put the date on my calendar. It's a silly tradition, I know. I'm not even sure where I learned about it.

I believe everyone should make their own silly traditions and that whenever your special day is, it should be celebrated. I'm planning to have a good July. I hope you are too.

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Daily Joys and An Anniversary

 

Daily Joys and An Anniversary

As I was idly looking through past blog posts, I started reading them all. When I got back to the beginning I realized that this is my anniversary month. I started my blog in June, 2005. It was first called "The Victorian Gypsy". Twenty years ago!!! Sometimes I feel that maybe I am still writing about the same things. And then I realize that of course I am, because these are the words of my life. I've talked about things I like to do, things I like to see, things I like to make, people I have loved, houses where I've lived, and moments that broke my heart.

I keep coming back to the same stories, hopefully with a new twist. I am always looking for ways to be more organized. I always like to decorate my house with items that have a history or are handmade. I only like recipes that are quick and easy. I still procrastinate. I enjoy traveling and reliving my trips through photos. I also like to make lists, and keep notes that don't always make sense when I read them later.

There were lots of times when I didn't write. I had moments of deep grief when it was all I could do to keep going through the fog. I can see those times in the blank spaces, but I didn't want to write about them here. I need to write, but I didn't always want to share.

Before I started blogging, I had a group on Yahoo called "Living With Intention" or "IntentionalWoman". It never had a big following, but I had big plans. This was during a much busier time in my life, when I expected every day to have a happy ending. It looks like my head was full of the same stories as now! Here are a few excerpts from those writings. They were many years ago but are still relevant:

"I am concentrating right now on decluttering--my life and my head. I read that it is very important to list your complaints and clear out what you don't want. This helps us to see the things that we do want. Then list the five things that are most important to you. Make these your daily joys and try to do something every day that relates to these five.

Are you making time for these five things? I discovered that I am consistently putting the most important items at the bottom of my list--just because I think I will have time to do them eventually"

"Think of all the years passed by in which you said to yourself "I'll do it tomorrow," And how the gods have again and again granted you periods of grace of which you have not availed yourself.                                  It is time to realize that you are a member of the Universe, that you are born of Nature itself, and to know that a limit has been set to your time. Use every moment wisely, to perceive your inner refulgence, or 'twill be gone and nevermore within  your reach."          --Marcus Aurelius (Roman Emperor 161-180AD)

Perhaps this quote from his Meditations sounds a bit dark, but that is not my purpose. There seem to be a lot of books and articles lately about slowing down, taking time for your life and doing the things that really matter. After years of thinking that maybe there is something wrong with us if we can't do it all, and that we should feel guilty when we take time for ourselves, suddenly it is okay to examine our lives and concentrate on the things and people that really matter. This is good. But, it is hard to do. Some days our lives are just a series of loose ends and minor annoyances, and no matter what we do, we haven't made a difference. That's why I am trying to remind myself of my own Daily Joys--they make me glad that I am here today and that I am heading in the right direction. As a culture, we don't like to believe that our time on earth is limited, even though we are conditioned to think that we never have enough time and that we are always rushed and overscheduled. Being busy and overworked and overwhelmed makes people feel validated. We think that we are the only ones who can do our work correctly. And that is not good.

How many of us are living for tomorrow? As I look around my home and office, I see so many projects, some unstarted, many unfinished. How much time do I really think I will have to do all those wonderful crafts and quilts, collages, and dolls? When will I write the best seller that surely lives within me somewhere? Sometimes it is so hard to be realistic about the way to spend time, because the process can be as involving as the project. When I am living for tomorrow I just keep starting new things, without the joy of completion, because I am counting on having those "periods of grace"

 

I am not now, nor have I ever been a morning person. I've never really had a sleep schedule, except when I needed one. When my older children were teens, I didn't get up until they were done fighting over who got the bathroom. Every.schoolday.morning. We had two baths, but one had better lights for hair and makeup. After they were both beautiful, then I would get up with the younger ones. With five kids in ten years, there was never a dull morning. I enjoyed staying up late at night, when it was quiet. That's when I was at my most creative.

Spending nearly five years as a fraternity house mom didn't help my sleeping patterns. The House was pretty noisy til after 2am, and there were often fire alarms, police visits, general rowdiness, and cars slamming into our corner drive in the middle of the night. There were eight accidents while I lived there. It was a bad corner! Thanks to my now husband John for being my Prince Charming and rescuing me. (I really did enjoy my frat house adventures. Most of them.)

Just from my past history my brain doesn't want to go to sleep very early. I try to be in bed by midnight, but that doesn't always work.  Unfortunately, the earlier I retire, the longer it takes me to go to sleep. Tossing and turning. Wondering and worrying.  I love to stay up late at night, for a few reasons. I still like the quietness. Sometimes I watch tv, or read, or write, or sew. I drink herbal tea . And then I go right to sleep when I finally go to bed. However, I no longer have the stamina to follow that schedule more than a few nights in a row. When I stay up too late, I get cranky and need a nap. And not just a little nap. And if I don't take a nap, I want to sleep late on the mornings I don't have to go somewhere and be social. Then the only thing that makes me want to get up is the thought of coffee. I love coffee in the morning. I consider it essential. Curiously, I am mostly decaffeinated now, so that isn't my motivator.

This morning, after going to bed at 2:00, I accidently woke up at 6:00 and decided to be productive. I celebrated with freshly ground regular coffee in my french press. It was a gift from a friend, and I enjoy it when I am having an occasion.

          I always believe in occasions. 

Weekly on Wednesday

 

Bye, Bye, Birdies

Many years ago when I was much younger, my husband and I were looking at houses to buy. When checking out the kitchen, I opened a cupboard door. The inside was covered with pictures of birds, articles about birds, and information about feeders and seeds. We looked at one another, and laughed a little, because, obviously, this was a house that belonged to old people. Much older than us.

But now, I have noticed that I am very partial to birds. How does this happen? Is it a rite of passage to the world of Elderly? I think it must be. I notice that I am not alone. 

I enjoy a lot of British television, and I have noticed that birdwatching is often included in the plots. I did a little research and discovered there are three distinct varieties of people involved. They are the Birdwatchers, the Birders, and the Twitchers. 

The birdwatchers enjoy seeing birds in their natural habitat. They might like to take a little stroll and look for birds. Maybe they will take their cameras and binoculars, but basically they just want to enjoy the sights.

The birders want to take a little more time and equipment. They are ready to record every little detail, and maybe even report their findings to somewhere official.

And finally the twitchers. For these super explorers, it won't get much more serious. It sounds like they are on high alert most of the time, just waiting to find the best and most unusual of the species, and willing to travel miles to observe them. 

Of course, in my favorite British mysteries, someone is often likely to be murdered along the way!

In addition to the real thing, I notice lots of little birdies in my decorating style. When I look around my house, I see this:

I guess I started collecting pictures of birds without even knowing that it was happening

How could I resist this sweet little family?

I love these dishes. Unfortunately, I only have one lonely little saucer.

This charming little hat needed a bird. Many were endangered during the nineteenth century, when they became popular for millinery. The Audubon Society helped to protect them

More pictures!

Birdies hiding about the house.

There are many more, but I think I have proved my point.

Before we moved, we had two birdfeeders outside the kitchen window, and really enjoyed seeing our visitors. We left them for the new owners because our neighbor has countless feeders in his yard, so we get to watch them.

As with most items I keep, there are many legends about birds, and many stories about the things they mean. Goldfinches are bright and shiny messengers of good luck and optimism. Robins bring hope and synchronicity. Seeing a wren tells you that all is well and that your creativity is blooming. Sparrows signify love. Bluebirds are my favorite. They are associated with love, happiness, and harmony. They symbolize life and beauty. Cardinals often remind us that those we have lost are near.

Weekly On Wednesday

 

Weekly On Wednesday

Recently, I have been trying to put my life into a notebook. I feel like I need to have it written out, so that I can just look things up. The things I need to do, want to do, forgot to do, and will never do. Do other people get this feeling, or am I living just a little bit on the wonky side of life?

There was a time that I did many things. I raised five perfect children. I was the Queen of the Carpools. I kept everyone's schedules in my head and in my planner, and mostly got them all where they needed to be. I had a job that I loved. I made and sold creative things. I volunteered. I wasn't much of a cook, but I kept them all fed. Most of that was my husband's department. After all, we owned a restaurant. No one starved.

Now I have lots of time, and less to do. I feel like I am frittering it away because I don't know where the time goes. I just know that it goes much too quickly. That's why I'm working on the (book!) notebook. Throughout my life, I have kept several notebooks and journals, but purely in a disorganized, mismanaged way. Now I am going through these notebooks, and trying to make them all more coherent.  It may not happen as I plan. I have noticed that my thoughts haven't changed a lot in half a century of writing. I'm not sure if that is good or bad. I like the same things and I have the same faults and values. I am basically the same as I was as a young woman, except on the outside. (And that's another story.)

And that is one of the reasons I am going through all the writings. I  have mentioned before that I like to follow rules. But I have discovered that I am really not too good at following routines. When a routine changes, either for the better or the worst, everything falls apart. And then I need to make a new routine.

 I knew right where things were in the last six houses that I lived in. I love to label things and put them where they belong. In my favorite house I had the best cupboard ever. I bought it at an auction and it had 119 drawers. Unfortunately, it was too big for the room. We had to modify it into two pieces with shelves at the ends. And then we had it built in so I couldn't take it when I moved. That was supposed to be my forever home, but I have moved four times since then. I will always miss that house. I had over 300 drawers and several bookcases. I felt very organized.

John and I moved more than a year ago. We plan to be here until we are even more old and feeble. I love this house. It is a good place for us. We downsized a lot, which was a good plan. However, I am still looking for things. I used to know exactly where my Irish tea set was. And the battery charger to my dremel craft tool. And my spare set of car keys. And the notebook that listed what was in all my little drawers and boxes.  And all of my craft supplies. But now, there is chaos. Our lives have slowed down a lot but the days haven't and every day ends before I feel that I have conquered that chaos.

I still have a few of my labeled drawers. One is metal and I know John doesn't like it. But I think it's charming in an industrial sort of way.

Most of my things are in small boxes and drawers now, and I spend way too much time trying to find what I need. 

My dream is still to find the perfect cupboard again even though I know my dream should be to get rid of the things I like to put into drawers.