Friday, April 20, 2018

News on the Homefront

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In case anyone has noticed, I haven't been writing very much lately. My last post was in January. The reason isn't because nothing happens in my life. To the contrary, I have been pretty busy here in 2018. I just don't have a lot that I feel like I can write about!

I am still a fraternity House Director, also known as a frat mom. I am just about to finish my third year. The house is still standing, so I guess I am doing an okay job. I enjoy living with all this young energy, even though I sometimes wonder if they notice that I am here. Even though I have been a mother for most of my life, I was pretty naive about many things when I moved here. I see and hear  many things that surprise me, and I have a lot of amusing and heartwarming stories. But I feel like they are not my stories to share. So I don't really say a lot about these young men, except to brag about them sometimes.

I have another part time job that I never really talk about. Since a few months before I "retired" from the pediatric clinic four years ago, I have been working a few days a week as an FSA-family services assistant, at a funeral home. I have a variety of duties. I take photos and arrange flowers and mementos, move furniture, and make coffee. I pick up tissues that grieving people don't even realize they drop on the floor. I have written obituaries and designed folders. I am there to help make things easier for families at their worst times. Often I have situations that I never, ever thought I could handle. And I always hope that I have learned to face those occasions with grace and compassion. And I have lots of stories, some heartbreaking, and some hilarious. (Nothing makes a person value and appreciate life more than working with death.) But, once again, I don't feel like they are my stories to share.

And the third reason that I have been so quiet lately.......I have a boyfriend. A gentleman friend. A companion. I'm really not sure what you call it at this stage of life. Boyfriend sounds silly. Gentleman friend is a little old fashioned, even for this victorian gypsy. And companion makes me feel like Tonto, the faithful companion of the Lone Ranger.  Are we going steady? I'm really not sure what it is, but I know it has changed my life. It took me a long time to become accustomed to being an independent woman, who didn't need anyone in her life. But, just when I was sure that my life was never going to be any better, it turned upside down.

It's been a long time since I felt happy for no reason. But now I do. Everyday. Tonight I saw a friend I hadn't seen for several months. She commented that I looked so much happier and younger! I don't look any thinner though. I guess that might be the next step. I spend a lot more time going out to eat than ever before. And I am even thinking about remembering how to cook again. That isn't too easy though. It's been three years since I had a kitchen! 

The oddest thing about old people romance is that it sometimes makes me feel like I am a teenager again, uncomfortable and awkward. But it can also be more comfortable, and refreshingly candid.  We both know what a good relationship can be. And we know what it is like to care about and build a life with one special person since the time we were very young. When I was a teenager, I never thought about getting older, or my future health and longevity, or what my children would think about me caring about someone new. As for my children, who are now middle-aged, they seem to be fine with it. As long as I don't talk about the details. My friends, on the other hand, want details that I don't even have.

And that's all I have to say about my secret life. For now, anyway.




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