Bridget and Matt's Wedding

My youngest daughter got married yesterday. What a beautiful day we had. The wedding was outdoors at middle daughter's house, overlooking the river. For weeks and weeks every moment has been filled with wedding preparations, but it was all worth it. My son Jim and I walked her down the aisle (lined with 30 shepherds hooks and jars of babies breath.) to the sound of "Brown Eyed Girl".Yes, Jim wears his kilt at every opportunity. My dress was brown and sparkly, bought just a few days ago after B insisted I wear a real Mother of the Bride dress.

Tess was the perfect little flower girl. She skipped down the aisle tossing autumn leaves into the air with abandon. It was so cute. Cass, however, had to be carried down by one of the ushers. But that worked too.

Here they are being officially wed. This was a big day. They have been a couple since they were in college--over 15 years ago!

All the nieces and nephews. Matt's niece Avery and Bridget's niece Lindsey were junior bridesmaids. They loved it. The boys all helped, moving 200 chairs from the wedding side of the yard to the giant reception tent on the other side. We also had  small tents for the "Sweet Treats", the gifts, and guest book. With all the lights, and the tents, the banners,the flowers, and the 100 yards of tulle, it definitely looked like a party.

As with every occasion our family has, there is the bitter along with the sweet. The grandkids set up these chairs for Grandpa Jim and Uncle Rich and made "Reserved" signs for them. Rich's Irish hat and a can of Budweiser were included. Our tears on this special day were mostly happy. Today was clean up day. That's when I could have cried! But all the months of preparation were worth it. I'm sure Meghan and Jack are glad to have their house back! How lucky I am to have such generous, close, and loving children who all worked so hard to make this happen.

The Party's Over!

Well, you haven't heard from me too much this month because I was so busy shopping for the birthday extravaganza. And now it's over, and I am back on a budget. So, of course, I needed these little Budget Banks. One even came with most of the labels. The holes are for paper money, and the slots collect change. The compartments inside make sure to keep your money separated. They are metal, and I guess they were popular in the 1930's through the 1950's. I'd never seen them before my late nite dates with online shopping. These were two of my  birthday gifts to myself, thanks to Etsy and Ebay-places I will be staying away from for awhile! I did have fun, picking out little gifts for myself. It is so easy to be extravagant. I bought an old magazine rack, a lovely little tin with a lighthouse picture on it, a kit to make a table runner, a couple of tutorials and online classes.

Soon after I decided on my "I'll get myself whatever I want" plan, I found something I have been looking for since we moved here. So I did have a big splurge. Here is my birthday gift to myself. I love it. Just the right size for my little big house. As you can see, this is where I'll be, blogging and budgeting. But no more shopping for now!

Where Bloggers Create 2012

We bought this house a few years ago and this was what my Crafting Room looked like:

Yes, it took a while and a lot of hard work, but I eventually had my dream space.

This is part of an old cupboard that had to be cut in half in order to fit into the room! The other half is on another wall. I love old things; old cupboards, old drawers, all sorts of old furniture. This is another piece that fits so well in the room:

More drawers, and shelves and cupboards. I think my decorating style is called Early Stack and Label. Even though I love having all these drawers, I do like to have my supplies out where I can see them. This red cupboard has most of my jewelry making supplies, and my Wishes. People who don't know me very well have to wonder when they see the two drawers marked Magic Wands!

I like to use all the space I can for storage, so there is always something behind every door!

This was supposed to be an inspiration board. I think it is more of a memory catcher. But that works too.

There is never enough wall space, so I want to use every bit of it.

For months, this room was neglected and not used very much at all, even though there is space for sewing, papercrafting,bookmaking, and many other creative activities. I started using it again by inviting work friends over to share some crafting fun. Now we get together here every few weeks and play. The grandkids also love this room and we make things together here. I am glad to be back, even though things have gotten a little dusty during my absence. At least, all these drawers are labeled!

Thank you for visiting and taking my little tour.

Bubbly Bliss

A few years ago I was the soapmaker at the history museum where I used to work. We started selling it in the giftshop, and I made several batches before my hours were cut back. I only made lye soap, and learned quite a bit about it at the time. I loved the way the mixture would magically "trace" and suddenly: Soap! Because of previous allergies and no equipment at home, I never went on to make more varieties. But this is the kind of soap I think I would have loved to make.
While looking through Etsy, for my birthday bonanza, I saw that there were over 76,000 listings for handmade soap. And all types. I chose Sarva, and I'm so glad I did. Michelle's site describes her business, and explains that "an intelligent approach to simple living can create real change. Sarva is a Sanskit word meaning whole which reflects this philosophy."
 My package of five sample bars arrived very quickly, individually packaged in waxed paper bags with handwritten labels. They are all scrumptious. After washing my hands several times that day, I immediately reordered. This time I picked Alchemy, which is an economy soap made from the trimmings of the other soaps. Each batch is a little different.
And then I picked Grace, which is "sweeter than a vintage rose."
And, finally, Sweet Earth, described as "not a hippie-groovy scent (It does have patchouly!)...but grounding and uplifting....the spirit of play and the warm summer sun."
I'll be in the bath.

Happy Birthday To Me (Almost)

        June 22-July23 The Sign of Cancer, The Crab

I am celebrating my birthday this month, and this year I have decided to celebrate it every day. With Presents! So I have been looking through Etsy (ooh, lots of good ideas there), and window shopping, and visiting stores that I don't usually go to. My only rule is, it can't be a book or clothing. That's because these are just about the only things I do buy. Oh, and my other rule is that I can afford it. That does limit me somewhat, doesn't it?

This is what I have come up with so far:

July 1- a hanging basket for the kitchen. There has been a hook there forever, so I finally put something on it.

July 2-a spoon rack. Found an old one and hung my motley assortment of silver on it. Yes, I do know that it is tarnished, and I love it that way.

July 3-the sound track from Brave. It's very celtic. I really liked the movie, though I have to say that I kept waiting for the Handsome Prince. It must be my early conditioning.

July 4-another cd. I must already be running out of things to buy myself. This one is "The Wailin' Jennys".

July 5-Wild gypsy bangles-and instructions to make some more (Almost a book, but not quite. Yes, my rules can be stretched a little)

I have a good friend who celebrated her birthday by buying gifts for other people. Maybe if I were a better person. After all we Moon Children are supposed to be generous,nurturing, and loving..........underneath our crabby exteriors.

A Year And A Day

Today it has been a year and a day since I became a widow. I have now passed all the first anniversaries-first birthday, first holidays, first wedding anniversary, and first year. Each one has been bitter and sweet, filled with memories and with emptiness.
In Victorian times, the official period of mourning lasted between two and three years. First mourning was for a year and a day. During that time a proper widow was expected to only see close friends and family and have very limited social contacts. Clothing was limited to black, usually crepe and non shiny fabrics. Everything was expected to be very plain, with no shine. When a widow did go out, she often wore a veiled bonnet, and could keep her face covered, so people wouldn't see her grief. The dyes used to treat the veiling was very irritating, so probably caused even more tears, and headaches, and feelings of faintness. I have read that cuffs on sleeves were often very wide and called "weepers', serving extra duty as handkerchiefs for weepy eyes.
Second mourning lasted for nine months. Still black, but a little more decoration was involved. A little bit of trim, a little bit of shine was considered to be proper. More jewelry was allowed, but mourning pieces were expected to be worn. A widow could be more active and no longer wore the veil.
And finally half mourning, when colors were allowed, particularly lavenders and greys.
I am ready for a little bit of shine. But, in my heart, this victorian gypsy will probably always be in First Mourning. I love you, Jim. Forever.

Merry Old England, Revisited

 Burford is one of the wonderful villages where we stayed in the Cotswalds. This is our hotel, The Burford House, located on the High Street. It is a beautiful 17th century building, and we were treated wonderfully. We were the only guests, as it is a small hotel, and they were so very gracious to us. Our dinners were elegant. I have to admit that a couple of ladies did put the napkins on their heads. What can I say? They looked like crowns. The owner even brought a life size cardboard Queen Elizabeth out to dine with us. One of the best things was seeing every town and storefront decorated for the Queen's Jubilee. Banners and pennants were everywhere.

 This is the view from our room. We had a stairway that was our own entrance to the courtyard. We stayed for four nights at the Burford House. It was our own little home!

Shopping was delightful. I am always drawn to the bookstores and here I found one of my favorites. This is the Madhatter Book Shop. Who could imagine-a book shop and hatshop in one place!! We could actually try on English hats-big,luscious,flowery hats, and dainty little fascinators. How I wanted one, but being a milliner in my past life at Living History Farms, I actually can make my own. But where would I ever wear it? I think that would be my dream store, if I were to be a shopkeeper. Hats and books-my idea of a perfect combination. I loved the shopping in Burford. I really didn't do a lot of shopping. Now that I am back, I think of things I wish I had bought. My  friend, Gerry, and I had a great time in the charity shops. And the little pharmacies. I am fascinated by the everyday papers and envelopes. I know, easily pleased. Needlework shops are another favorite of mine. I really wanted to buy some yarn as a remembrance of the trip, but didn't find anything. Most shopping was in little bits and pieces, except for the entire day along this street. And of course, there were the gift shops at the historic houses we visited. I found myself spending as much time admiring the buildings and the people as studying the merchandise. I will never get used to the idea that so many of the houses and shops are centuries old. I love it and would live like that if I could. My own little cottage was built in 1918 and always seems very old here in Iowa.

Oh, To Be In England.....

Yes, I was there. Off to England to visit the Queen, and a wonderful visit it was, though she didn't even know I was there. Right off the plane, we went to the Chelsea Garden Show in London. And flowers, we saw. People everywhere, and acres and acres of plants, and flowers, and buildings, and arrangements. Amazing.

This was a large block of foxglove. Almost every flower I could think of had a giant display. I have lots of photos of masses of garden glory. Amazing. Oh, I may have said that before. But it was. Amazing.

The chandeliers were part of a large display designed for the Queen's Jubilee Dinner. I'm not sure which was the winner.

After the show, we had a little tour of London on our coach and then off to the first of many little villages. For the first three nights we were in the village of Inkpen-at the most charming hotel and pub. We were the only guests staying at the Crown and Garter and the hosts couldn't have been nicer.

This was a coach inn in the seventeenth century. I am entranced by the history. In Iowa, we can't even consider the age of buildings like this, yet in England, people actually live in them. Every single day. By now, you must all know what a history geek I am. I am still swooning to think that I was able to walk on floors and touch walls where people actually lived and loved hundreds of years ago. It's the continuity, I suppose. But it gives me a thrill. It really really does. This was the perfect trip for me. I loved every thing about it and I will be sure to give details for weeks so please come back and visit me again as I revisit the Cotswald villages. Some of it is already a blur as I wonder where I was and when. "Like all great travelers, I have seen more than I remember, and remember more than I have seen." (Benjamin Disraeli)

Remember Me?

It's not that I don't like to write. I do. In fact, I love to put my words on paper. And I like computers, but they just don't like me. Sometimes I think my life is just one big technical difficulty after another. Right now my laptap won't sinc with my printer, my pictures want to stay on the camera, and my desktop doesn't like the Internet, and for the life of me, I just can't type on my Nook. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, whatever did I do with the last two months?
I'm here, and I'm ok. Sometimes that is a victory. Lots of family times. Holidays, a First Communion, and a Baptism (that one got a little delayed by life events). Bridget and Matt's wedding will be here in September. I've been volunteering with Amanda the Panda. Our 8 week session ends soon, but I will help again in the fall. I really want to get more training and to help others who are grieving since has become so much a part of my everyday life.
And I have been reading. And reading. And reading. Every night when I come home from my busy job to my quiet house, I read. Mostly fiction.  Light, cozy mysteries where everyone lives in lovely, little villages, and the good guy always wins. I was raised on Nancy Drew, and I want my crimesolvers to be light hearted and witty, with a great sense of history. I think I have covered almost every century. I like books in series, and have been reading one right after the other. I always stop before the final one, though. I don't like endings.
I really hoped I would use my time in creative endeavors, instead I have chosen to lose myself in books. This has been my way of coping. And I think it has been working. Finally, I am ready to make some changes. I hope to become more creative again. Sometimes, I feel that just maybe..... the fog is lifting, and my brain is starting to function. Gratefully, I am ready to join the world again, at least in little bits. I'm taking a real vacation. A few more days and I will be traveling to my favorite place in all the world. ENGLAND. I still can't believe I am going, but I am starting to pack.

March Madness

Here is an old photo from RiverView, the premier amusement park in our area when I was growing up. This is where I had almost all of my "first dates', birthday parties, and lovely afternoons. I always hated the roller coaster. I was more of a carousel kind of girl. And maybe the ferris wheel-if I felt like an adventure. I remember how happy I was the day I realized that I didn't have to pretend to like the roller coaster, and I never rode on it again. Haven't missed it a bit.
Unfortunately, my whole life is like a roller coaster ride now. Up and down. Knocking the breath out of me when I least expect it. Long climbs up scary hills and then swooooooosh, there I am at the bottom again. And I don't even pretend to like it.
By the way, they also had a gypsy fortune teller at RiverView. Loved her. Some things just don't change.

A JANUARY YARN

January always seems like a perfect time to work with yarn. Through the years I've made lots of small things, a couple of afghans and baby blankets, many purses, hats, and scarves, but never anything that is meant to fit. How I envy the people with the skill and patience to finish sweaters and socks. I really like little projects best, I guess. I think maybe it stems from the years of making things to sell at craft shows. Here's just a couple of pictures. I made a lot of tea cozies for a while. I really liked this one. The tie is adorned with buttons, beads, and charms.

The brooch is a little large. I guess I should have known when the pattern said "peony". I found it here, and I'll be wearing it on my jacket at work today. I guess I'll see how many people laugh. It's my own little homage to spring, now that winter has finally begun in the midwest!

Ring In the New

Happy New Year! Can you hear my sigh of relief that it is 2012? When I posted last January, I gave myself two words for the year. One was Accept, which I am keeping. The other was Soar. I didn't. I also wanted to revamp my blog and set a goal of 200 followers. I did add a few, but missed the goal. I am grateful for those of you who have stayed with me. Many of my posts start at one place and end up entirely somewhere else. So much of my past eighteen months have just been about getting through another day that I am almost afraid to even plan for the future. That's why I liked this post by Dr. Wayne Dyer:

"Forget about those New Year’s resolutions in which you decide on the first day of January how you will be conducting your life for the next twelve months. Instead, set up day-to-day goals for yourself, and then resolve to begin living with present moment awareness for the rest of your life. When you get good at living your present moments one day at a time, you’ll see yourself changing right before your own surprised eyes. Remember, anyone can do anything for just one day, so tune out the sentences that keep you locked into your old self-defeating ways and begin to enjoy each day of your bright new year."

I have always liked to make Resolutions. For years I have stayed up until the New Year, taking stock of my past year and planning for the future. But, I have learned that the Future is a wily old scoundrel who sometimes has his way with us, no matter what we may plan. I have changed so much from the woman who started a little crafty blog, and wanted to share her thoughts about her happy, hectic life. I miss her so.

CHRISTMAS MOURNING

REMEMBERING RICH AND JIM

CHRISTMAS 2011

This isn't the Christmas I've dreamed of, it's true...

But I still want to send a greeting to you.

I'll always remember this year as the worst.

And, yes, I do wonder if maybe I'm cursed.

It's been a hard year, and you all have come through

With love and with friendship, I am grateful for you.

I know that I haven't always answered the phone.

My body is here, but my heart isn't at home.

There's an unwritten law--when one loses a spouse-

Everything falls apart in the house.

The furnace, the faucets, the drains, and the car---

But these aren't the reasons I miss him, by far!

I'm tired of sadness, I'm wearied by sorrow...

I'm sick of waiting each day for tomorrow.

So I cry when I laugh and I laugh when I cry

And don't understand why good people die.

But little by little, and yes, bit by bit.

The tree is put up, and the candles are lit.

The stores are too cheery with music and such

So I'm shopping online and not doing much.

I try to remember, though it's lonely down here

There's a party upstairs... And they are feeling the cheer.

Go hug all your children. Give your loved ones a kiss

And celebrate Christmas for those that we miss.

Love,

Sandi

I Know You're Jealous!

Time for our annual Christmas Craft Nite Party. You remember my Craft Nite Group. We've know each other simply forever and started to get together when our children were babies (almost 35 years ago---Wow!) At Christmas we don't have a craft-just a party. Kathy hosted and these were gifts. She bleached the trees, decorated them, and showcased them in teacups. How cute is that!


We also draw names. This year I received an old tin box filled with ephemera and all sorts of supplies. Of course, I love it. If it's old and paper, or fabric, or tin, or wood, I am smitten. Between all the mica flakes, glitter, bakers twine, buttons, ribbons, bits and bobbles, I'd better come up with something good. More to come on the contents of the magical box.


We also received an ornament from our famous dollmaker friend, Cindee. She started making Christmas angels for each of us about 15 years ago and now she can't show up without one. I am so blessed in my friendships! Even without the presents.

A Very Paper Christmas

I've decided to have a very simple Christmas this year, so I bought a skinny tree of the very cheap variety. I set it on a box to make it look taller and proceeded to embellish. Most of my decorations are made from one old book. I pleated rosettes, glued them together and added old fashioned Santas. A large one forms the tree topper. Other pages were rolled into cornucopias, filled with red berries and rosemary. Birds were cut from cardboard, book pages, and scrapbook paper, with pleated wings. And sticks from the yard are stuck randomly into the tree. My most favorite decoration is the long chain. It's made from many bits of fabric, sewed onto a heavy interfacing, decorated with all sorts of fancy stitches and ribbons, and then cut into strips and all buttoned together. I've used lots of sentimental pieces
and written names and dates and sayings on them. I even had some fabric from the clothes I made from my girls when they were small. And from doll clothes. (I was always going to use them for a doll quilt or something. Now, I finally have.) I still have more to finish, but this works for my tree and is a great memory chain. I spent a lot of time creating it, and trying out the stitches on my sewing machine. The grandkids like looking for their names. I will probably keep it out after the holiday. It may become a window garland.

There is also a wreath made of book pages. So far, that's it, except for the Advent calendars. I do need something for the fireplace.

I do miss seeing all my ornaments, and other decorations, and Christmas village, and the big tree, but this just isn't the year for them. Next year: happier times and more decorating.

I really have to apologise for the terrible quality of the photos. I am just never home at a decent time of day to take pictures lately. And I knew, if I didn't add this now, it wouldn't happen in December. Happy Holidays!

The New Thankful 2011

Every life is full. Good things and not so good things. And sometimes we have to look for the good things. I feel very vulnerable this Thanksgiving. Just a year ago, I thought that if I could just get through the holidays after Rich's sudden death, then life would get better. I never even dreamed that we would sit down to our Thanksgiving meal with another missing place at the table. Yes, it is hard to be happy, and sometimes it is hard to be grateful, but giving thanks is what this time of year is all about.

I am grateful for the friends and family who gather and the way that we can all support each other. I am grateful that we can always find things to laugh about even when we cry.

It's been a good day. Most of us were able to come to KC to spend it with my oldest daughter, Erin, and her family. They had a houseful--nineteen of us for dinner. My son's family had to stay in Des Moines because of work schedules, but we should all be together to celebrate Christmas.

Trent, my son-in-law, is always the cook, and the the rest of us just plan to stay out of his way, and handle the cleanup. He takes his Turkey very seriously, even wearing a chef's coat when putting our delicious dinner together. Jim always spent a lot of time in the kitchen with him, so I know he felt the loss this year. But the other men stepped in. In some ways today was a comedy of errors, and we really felt Jim's presence in many ways. We really thought he and Rich might have been playing a few tricks. There was a little problem with the turkey when they realized that the oven wasn't on, so dinner was delayed! Next, one of the sterno cans under the chafing dish caught fire and we had a little tablecloth disaster right before dinner. Everyone was screaming, and shouting and laughing, because for some reason we are always laughing in the face of disaster in this family. And, right then, one of my dead husband's favorite songs started playing on the radio!!

It was a great meal, though perhaps not our most elegant, with our makeshift centerpiece and singed tablecloth, and tired and hungry children.

We are starting to look forward to happy times. Middle daughter Meg will be moving to her dream home within a couple of months, and we are finally beginning to plan Bridget's wedding, which will be held there in the fall.

"Life goes on, though good men die." (Edna St. Vincent Millay)

What? October's Over?

So, looks like I almost missed this month! But, wait, I have some photos. Not very good-I can't seem to get the lighting and background thing right. I am always taking my photos late at nite or early in the morning. Even though I know that I shouldn't. And I have to apologize for not being able to figure out the secret of getting my photos where I want them to be. I know this should be much easier than it is.

First, I won a prize. And what a prize it is. Paulette, made this beautiful Practical Magic art book for me. It's one of my favorite movies, and you can be sure that the book will stay out, and not be put away just because Halloween is over. Visit her blog and you will see more pages, and lots more beautiful things. Thank you Paulette. It was a wonderful surprise.

And I made two Halloween books myself. One, I sent to my dear friend, Fleur, just barely before the holiday was over, and the other I may just have to keep, since it didn't get mailed in a timely manner. I folded the pages of old books, added lots of pictures and paint, and voila! Stand up journals.

I went to the annual giant booksale this fall, looking just for books, I could tear apart and alter. I'm not too successful at that, even though I love art books. Once, I get them home, I can't bear to take them apart. I am trying to not have more books than I have shelves, but I am honestly thinking that may never happen.

I did have a bit of fun with my decorating. The first picture, now that I have given up trying to get them where I want them to be, is an old tin document box. I think this one was actually for art supplies. I opened the door to the compartment, stood the box on its' side, and added a few things to make it spooky. Now I'm going to take it apart and start changing it for Christmas. Don't you love it when you can use something you've had forever in a completely new way?

I did have a very busy month. I think I've overcommitted myself. I'm hoping that my new sewing machine-more about that in another post- will break me of the recently acquired habit of wandering around stores shopping for nothing, instead of going home to my quiet house.

A Portrait from Tess and Wise Words

Tess, who will be four in November, drew this picture for me. She calls it "Grammie in the Rain". I knew I had a black cloud over my head, but I had hoped I was hiding it from others. This week is the one year anniversary since we lost Rich. At the time I thought that was the worst thing that could happen. I don't know how I could have gotten through it without Jim. This week we will all be spending a lot of time together. Tomorrow the littlest of the grands will help me get out the Halloween decorations. This weekend we will all spend time cleaning up the yard for fall and celebrating life.

"This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its' place is something that you have left behind...let it be something good." Anonymous

More Loose Change

The runner is finally done, and I am quite pleased with it. Lovely felted wool pieces are stitched onto a calico base. I made it a bit smaller than originally intended so that it would also fit as a banner on the fireplace. I've never used this space before, but with a tension curtain rod, I can hang this right up. What a versatile piece it has turned out to be. I've also made an eyeglass case and a pincushion. I think my next project will be a sewing case. I'm having fun just having all the little pieces of wool to choose from. Now, as I look at the first picture, I realize that is before it was finished. I added some embellishment to the leaves and flowers later. Well, you get the idea--it's done, it's done!

Penny For My Thoughts

I've been looking for something crafty to do-something which only takes a part of my brain, and this is what I have come up with--Penny rugs--a nineteenth century applique technique using wool. This looks big, but is actually a small mug mat. Now I'm in the process of making a table runner. I just ordered some wool pieces from etsy, so I am waiting until they come before I progress much farther. I did buy a yard of white wool with a coupon (50% off) and have been dying little pieces of it. Wool is very expensive, so this is a good way to get a variety of solid colors.

I have also been working on some memorial pieces as Christmas gifts. Well, not so much working on them as thinking about them. I call them "Grief Goods". Maybe there's a market. Baby steps.

It's been six weeks now that I have been alone. It does not get easier. Of course, I already knew that. I don't know what the future will bring. Right now I am just getting through the days. And the nights.